Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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