it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
