I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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