WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
