I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
