Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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