i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We need to get me chipped asap
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
