forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
