Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
