yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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