my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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