I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
