she looked like the before picture.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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