I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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