Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
