the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
