We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
