atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Let's get the cat blown out
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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