i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
