Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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