At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
accomplished twins. life is a go
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
