i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
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I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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