When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
