He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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