Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
