i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sober January is a disaster.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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