people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
