Pappa wants mamma naked
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
