Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
