All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
