she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
