i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
