You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize