A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
