K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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