she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
