Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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