Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You can't just leave with hair like that
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
