last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
