we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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