definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
