So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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