is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
