Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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