ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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