apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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