its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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