i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
