There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
