So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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