I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"