So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
