i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
