How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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