who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize